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| by scott woods (Monophonic81) | |
Let's face it, the title Indie Rock is a misnomer. What is labeled as Indie Rock is neither independent nor does it rock. Independent implies they are on their own, putting it all together, and getting it all out. The simple fact is that most Indie Rock bands are affiliated with a label of some sort. I know that most of these labels are small, but they are still labels and thus take away the independence part of the nomenclature Indie Rock. I also feel the same way about IGA. It is assbackwards to have a governing and certifying organization for "independent" groceries. But that is a whole other issue.
Now let's tackle the rock part of Indie Rock. What is rock? When I hear this question, I often think to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's attempt to define hardcore pornography in 1964. Adapted to the question at hand I am sure the honorable Stewart would have said "I shall not today attempt further to define what rock is, but I know it when I hear it. And sir, Indie Rock most certainly does not rock." He would be right. Even if you do not like them, everyone knows Led Zeppelin, ZZ Top, and The Ramones all rock. I chose these three bands because they are three distinct styles of rock, but nonetheless, they all rock.
Now what is it about these groups that set their music apart from the likes of Indie Rock groups like The Postal Service, Bright Eyes, and The Arcade Fire? It isn't talent. Many Indie Rock groups are filled with musical talent. It isn't drive or passion. Many Indie Rock groups are constantly improving their sound and promoting themselves. It is that something that if Potter Stewart were still alive today, he would not be able to define.
I do not feel that it is my place to change the name of this genre of music because I am not so much a fan. So I leave it up to you, fans of Indie Rock, to change the name to something that is much more accurate. Something that describes what it is. Something that describes what it is about. Something. Just do not use the words "independent", "rock", or any derivative thereof.
But if I could make a suggestion, I think Melmu is pretty accurate. It is derived from MELancholy and MUsic. And it sounds funny.
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| by dan schreiber (franzDan) | |
Why MTV and all its affiliates are douchebags, or how I learned to stop worrying and love my intellect
It's 12:01 a.m., I have to go to WPGU at 6:00 to do a shift, and I know I should take a nap, but instead I decide to watch some brazenly degrading programming on MTV 2. I do not have the gall to expect that I will hear any music, nor should I, because of course, that kind of tenacity is apparently license to get fired from "Music Television Networks." What's on? Wildboyz, Steve-fucking-O and whatever fucking other douchebag is on the show with him, I don't know his name. They're in Belize, all kinds of the worlds most interesting animals are all around them, and Steve-O is so fucked up he sticks a fucking fish in his ass, and lets a stork try to eat it.
They're flying over an active volcano, and comment that the people who live in the town nearby are idiots for living next to a volcano that could kill them. Steve-O puts a piece of raw steak in a pan connected to a long stick that he and broils his food in a bubbling sulfurous pond. He dips the pan in, covering it with toxic mud, and then takes a bite. He throws up. I want to as well. I mean shit, Steve, that's what makes toxic rain toxic, Steve, fucking sulfur. After a volcano erupts, the soil nearby is full of nutrients, probably the most fertile it has ever been, a blessing to the people who live nearby, Steve.
Steve's friend sneaks up to a jaguar and starts petting it. Fuck marijuana, drugs aren't self destructive, the people taking them are expanding their mind, experience new planes of existence, these are the retards who should should have PSAs against them. "Self-respect, my anti wildboyz."
After the show, they show a preview of whats to come in March, they're in a hotel room with an orangutan and they let it drink at least two of their beers and and a pitcher full of margaritas, then they let it trash the room, throwing lamps and mirrors, it pisses all over the apartement, and then takes a shit, they hold out their hands and fucking eat it, and of course throw up. I didn't realize these people enjoyed putting things in and back out of their bodies as quickly as possible. Steve-O takes a shower and complains about how bad the orangutan smells, I can't even imaging how he smells, you fucking asshole.
This is just gross, and I do enjoy some MTV shows, Made is funny and interesting, and least that show is themed around self-improvement. And those breaks they have where that girl writes them letters is funny in an obsessive sort of way. I can even forgive her for saying "How would I know about new music without my TRL?" At least the bullshit she's eating is metaphorical.
In middle school, I watched TRL, I liked Limp Bizkit, I thought all that shit was so fucking cool, but I grew out of it. Will today's middle schoolers? I guess part of the fun of being smart is knowing that you know something 98% of people don't, how very indie of us, we can't stand Modest Mouse now that every piece of shit in America knows about Float On, fucking sellouts, fuck that, I liked them post Good News, I didn't know about them before that, does that demean them? I wouldn't be so selfish to want everyone else to be retards so that I can feel special. I know that this won't change anyone, but I can't take comfort in the fact that I am one of the two percent of people that can solve Einstien's famous logic puzzle, although I do feel special.
How can Steve-O be happy? Doesn't he realize that his life sucks? One kid on my floor has a video of him and his friends jumping in gasoline or something like that and then the tender skin down there started to burn, so the filmed themselves screaming in towels and pouring hot water on it to sooth their skin. Or the one where they mix everything they can find in their house in a pot and eat it, with the desired postrequisite of throwing up. I know, I watched both of these brain dead home videos. Since when did throwing up become a desirable activity, bulimia is one thing, but the Friday that someone suggest we go try and throw up for shits and giggles is the day that I renounce society and live in a cave by myself in Iraq.
Now they're importing people, Team Sanchez from the UK is gonna have another I'm sure amazing show on mtv2. What the fuck? Did they get their name cause they still think dirty sanchez is funny? Hey baby, I'd like to fucking kill you. Why do kids think this shit is cool? I hope that they will grow out of it like I did. I just hope that we will fucking grow up.
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